Monday, February 9, 2009

He's Just Not That Into You

Last night I saw He's Just Not That Into You with a good girlfriend. I've long been an advocate of the book, often throwing it at crying girlfriends stuck in bullshit relationships. While the movie plays off the same principles of the book, and one of the co-authors Greg Bernhardt (hilarious stand up comedian) makes a cameo, instead of keeping it close to the raw frank intensity of the book its wrapped up in a Hollywood bow fairy tale ending. Typical.

SPOILER ALERT! The ending being that in order to be happy as a woman you have to end up with a man. Only 2 out of the 5 female story lines end up on their own. The two having been with the same lying cheating bastard, that if either of them had ended up with him every popcorn bucket and sour patch kids box would have been chucked at the screen.

As a choice feminist, for those of you new to the term it means I support a woman to be happy either in her own career on her own, or in her home with a family. My personal choice is to lean to the former, but that's my choice. What I don't understand in today's society is the pressure to have a man, whether its the right one or not, as long as you're not alone. When did my generation become so co-dependent at such a young age? I always imagined my early 20s as a time to spend on my own. Picking up and moving wherever I wanted, doing whatever worked for me at the time, answering and factoring in no other person. What happened to the 20s as a time to discover one's self, and live life without inhibitions? I didn't interpret the 20s as a time to shack up and play house. While a relationship with another person can be a great benefit to one's life, why the pressure to have it define your life?

Maybe its the only child in me, having always been fiercely independent, and comfortable with my own individual play time as a young child. Maybe its the years of wanting to play office instead of house with the other neighbor girls. Maybe I'm wired differently, maybe its the fact that that wretched holiday is coming up this weekend. I've never been fan of that holiday even when I have been in a couple. Its underwhelming, pressure filled, and disappointing on either side of the fence. Moving on...

As the average age of first time mothers and spouses drops for the first time in 40 years, I run further away from the convention of marriage and family more and more everyday. I feel like Betty Friedan trapped in my own Midwestern version of The Feminine Mystique surrounded by co-dependent couples, ring happy Bridezillas, and goo goo gaga mothers.

God I need New York or Europe more and more everyday...

1 comment:

  1. This post is so YOU! I need to see YOU!

    Anyway... the age of parents marrying/having kids dropped? Ugh, to like what age?

    Probably has something to do with the slow economy? What do you think?

    I'm so at fault. I'm an "only," too, but love to be in relationships. Some people eat too much fast food, I like having a good man in my life. Pick your poison.

    Either way, co-dependence is not good. I see Joe once for about an hour each week (due to school, schedules, etc...) and then for a day on the weekend. It's a nice way to do stuff- still time for friends, but time for each other. Def. not seeing him everyday, and that would be bad.

    Anyway, I heart you, and I cannot wait to see the new business site you put up with your ad buddies!